Trust me when I say this: guiding couples on their own journey of love and faith is no less than a divine calling. With Valentine’s Day approaching, it’s worth exploring some of the most meaningful ways for Christian couples to enrich their relationship.
But before we dive into the subject, it’s worth mentioning that these are not benchmarks for your relationship, but more like goals. If you don’t express gratitude for every single success your spouse has, you haven’t really failed.
Instead, you have something to strive for moving forward. We can improve on many of these things. Ultimately, this is a post of enrichment for your marriage and relationship.
If you are in a place of severe hurt, you need safety because of a domestically violent relationship, or one of the two in the relationship isn’t in a place to do this (whether due to illness, or incarceration), you should know that this can look wildly different to you.
Take the spirit of the article and make it work for your life. Sometimes, that could mean time and space and plenty of healthy boundaries, especially if you are not in a season of enrichment.
Pray together
Make sure you start and end your day in prayer. Invite God into your relationship. Shared prayer is a fairly important practice with anyone, including one you have committed your life to.
Weekly devotionals
Try to set aside a designated time for joint devotionals, deepening your spiritual connection. As a general rule, Scripture uses this analogy in 2 Corinthians 6 of marriage, being as some sort of state in which you are “yoked” together, so you want to make sure that, spiritually, you are evolving together.
Communication
Foster open and honest communication, emphasizing the importance of understanding and empathy. Bitterness, shame, and jealousy generally come out of secrets, backbiting, and stonewalling each other on a regular basis. In fact, even when it is not all fun and games, you should still talk. Communication is key.
Quality time
Try to prioritize, as much as possible, uninterrupted quality time, whether it’s about a date night or just a cozy evening at home. Some of this plays a huge role when it comes to our love language. Try to make it as meaningful as possible, and not just something to become stale.
Reflect on growth
Constantly reflect on your individual and collective spiritual growth. Express value in each other, and admit the changes you see in your spouse. Being seen is by far one of the greatest expressions of love.
Express gratitude
Try to cultivate this habit of expressing gratitude for each other’s strengths and virtues. After all, we are commanded by Scripture to do so for the ones around us (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; Colossians 2:6-7), why would we not also do so for the one we are closest to?
Acts of service
Try to serve one another selflessly, and mirror Christ’s love through actions. This is within the love language of acts of service, but this should also be seen in the giving of one’s self just as Christ did for us, too. Try to do so with plenty of humility.
Celebrate milestones
Acknowledge and celebrate relationship milestones, whether big or small. Push for them to strive for the next milestone as their biggest cheerleader and advocate.
Forgiveness
Try to practice forgiveness, and mirror Christ’s unconditional love and grace. It usually lies in the small, petty things. In all the “I can’t even” things.
Explore shared interests
You should make a practice out of constantly discovering and pursuing hobbies and activities that both of you enjoy doing. If you never explored that side of you, now is the perfect time to start.
Community involvement
Consider volunteering or engaging in community service together, spreading love beyond what you two share. This is the beauty of love, isn’t it?
Attend workshops and retreats
Invest in various relationship-building workshops and retreats that strengthen your foundation. This getaway time can be quite refreshing for both your spirit and your relationship.
Counsel check-ins
Constantly check in with a Christian counselor to navigate various challenges and promote your own growth. You don’t really need to be hurting to benefit from counseling, since it can be a time of taking your marriage to a new level with an expert outside view.
Surprise gestures
Try to infuse spontaneity into your relationship with a series of surprise gestures that reflect your love. Breakfast, flowers, a weekend getaway, and a simple but powerful love note can really go a long way.
Celebrate love throughout the year
Extend the spirit of Valentine’s Day throughout the year, making love nothing but a continuous celebration.
Incorporating all these elements into your relationship, rooted in deep Christian values, will not only strengthen the powerful bond between you and your partner but also deepen your spiritual connection.
The origin of love
Love is the first and primary fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives. This basically means that, in Christ, the Holy Spirit gives us the love we need. He also teaches us how to love and by His own sanctifying work, we are empowered to love.
You cannot love your spouse in the most beautiful and life-giving way without the work of the Holy Spirit. Foundationally, this leads in two directions. First, if you have not put your faith and trust in Jesus Christ for salvation, you are not a Christian and do not have the power of God’s Spirit indwelling in your life.
Instead, you only attempt to live a life, without the actual power of God to enable you. You will fail in this moralistic attempt. No man or woman can walk in the glorious and good ways of Jesus without the almighty strength of the Holy Spirit.
Second, the path to love in marriage isn’t directly through action toward your spouse. The most important step is toward abiding in Christ (John 15). Only then, you be able to learn how to properly love Jesus.
The one, bullet-proof way in which a husband and a wife walk in love together is by going in the same direction. When husband and wife are both seeking hard after Jesus, this automatically aligns their lives.
They are both pulling in the same direction under an authority higher than themselves. This is never really an equal pull. One spouse or even the other will seek harder after Jesus throughout their marriage, but this is where two are definitely better than one.
This is also where you pray for, encourage, and point each other toward Jesus. When one is weaker, the other is stronger. Together, you seek Jesus. In seeking Him, your hearts become united in love.
Try to be humble before Jesus in His word. Be together in church more. Try to be in smaller groups more often. Over the course of years, these actions will do more for your love and joy than intervention counseling.
After you commit to these basic spiritual steps, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 gives the practical map for how you have to demonstrate Christian love toward your spouse. All these steps are self-sacrificing. They will require you to ask Jesus for change in your life. We also know these ways are all good and beautiful.
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