Do These 4 Christian Marriage Claims Really Hold Up?
Oh, marriage. We tend to believe that when we find our better half, the birds will not stop singing, and the boring life we had will automatically transform into a fairytale. Ha, ha, what a beautiful lie! Even though all the movies and series are trying to sell us this story of a perfect marriage and an incredible family, things are way different in real life. We all know that marriages are not all sunshine and rainbows; they are filled with overwhelming moments that take your breath away.
There is a lot of information out there about Christian marriages, and unfortunately, most of it is misleading. How are we supposed to fight for our marriages when Satan has every intention and desire to break apart everything we’ve built together? We’re told that everything joined together by God is meant for good, but in reality, things are a bit different.
Nowadays, it is becoming difficult, if not impossible, to see that beautiful image of marriage, which involves a sacred relationship with God. Why? Well, let’s say that the false claims and everything we believe about Christian marriages highly influence our perception. Read on and discover some of the most damaging beliefs for Christian marriages.
4 False Claims About Christian Marriages
1. Christian marriage should be easy
We would all love to have the perfect marriage, but real life taught us that fairytales are just a better version of the lives we live, and shouldn’t be seen as a purpose. We should all stop believing that once we find our life partner, everything will magically make sense, and all the problems and negativity will slowly but surely fade away. That’s not true.
Marriage is a beautiful and sacred ceremony, and it happens with God’s allowance, but it doesn’t mean that it’s easy. There are many ups and downs a married couple has to go through.
Most couples feel that the first year of their marriage is completely brutal. It’s a year of transition, when people need to adapt to their new lifestyle. Unfortunately, one of the things that affects the most is the high expectations. Considering that the two have been through a sacred ceremony together, they believe that God will guide their paths and never let them go through any unforeseen challenges that can cause strain.
Well, thinking that God will do all the work is completely wrong. Marriage takes a lot of time and effort, and it isn’t easy at all, even though that’s not what we want to hear.
Even though Mark 10:9 is usually read at weddings, newlywed couples need to pay more attention to how they are expected to protect their marriage. God lets both know that marriage is not just a horizontal interaction, because they need to reach up and seek Him for wisdom and guidance, especially when times get tough.
2. Christian marriages should always be fulfilling
Have you ever thought about how, as a society, we have pushed aside the fairytale image and learned to be satisfied with less? Most couples move forward by saying ‘‘it is what it is”, and do not really try anything to fix their problems. We have learned to accept that our unions can sometimes be lifeless.
One of the false claims is that Christian marriages should always be fulfilling. Well, every marriage needs to go through its own challenges. Our union and love story can be harsher than we imagine, just because we may need to learn our lessons.
When couples find that their marriages are becoming less fulfilling, especially mentally and emotionally, the partners become very aggressive toward each other. Unfortunately, our exaggerated reactions are where bitterness and resentment love to hide. When there is more fighting than love, problems appear, and a marriage can easily fall apart.
Marriages are not perfect, and what God tells us is that we must love our spouse through service. So, if you find your marriage less fulfilling than it once was, read the verses Ephesians 5:21-33 and invite God into your union. He will teach you how to serve your spouse in a way that can work for both of you.
3. Christian marriages should be divorce-proof
The key to a happy marriage is not just reading the Bible and praying over your loved one. Sometimes, it’s more difficult than that. Sometimes, we need to heal ourselves before we rebound with others. When trust and respect are broken in a marriage, we must acknowledge the hurt and allow God to help us and smooth the process of healing. And whether we like it or not, sometimes the best way to heal is through divorce.
Even though, as believers, we hope to make the best of our marriage, we are not immune to mistakes, trials, or temptations. The believers are also filled with messy parts, and there’s no perfect union between two people. So, we need to accept that sometimes that perfect fairytale can come to a sad end.
Forgiveness is essential, and while there are specific biblical grounds for divorce, seeking God will always be the answer. All you need to do while looking for answers is to open your heart and let yourself heal.
4. Christian marriages should resolve conflicts
No marriage is perfect! And no marriage should resolve conflicts! Every couple, at some point, will argue. Christian couples are not better than the other ones around them. There will be countless times when the partners will not share the same ideas. So, arguments and fights can appear.
But even though we tend to see the worst in arguments and conflicts, in reality, they can be extremely helpful. For example, they can shed light on issues that need to be solved. Fighting can be beneficial for a marriage, especially when it helps you understand each other’s perspectives.
The Bible said that we need to be patient and kind to one another, but many times, things can escalate. Sometimes it’s more about being heard and understood.
Remember that when you try to approach an argument with the mindset of trying to understand your partner’s needs, it will allow you to feel calmer and listen attentively.
The Bottom Line
There are many claims about marriages, but in reality, every couple is different. We have different perspectives, different needs, and different backgrounds. And what we need to do is find our balance. There will be ups and downs in the marriage, but having each other’s backs and praising faith will lead you to a happy and long life together.
Strengthen your faith and don’t hesitate to let God dive into your lives. He always knows the answers. All you need to do is learn how to ask for help when you need it the most.
Before leaving, here is a great book you should read! It can be easily found on Amazon. The book is called Built on Faith: Heartwarming stories of marriage, work, and God’s plan, and it was written by Daniel Yoder.
If you liked this article, here’s what to read next: 6 Sacred Things Every Christian Husband Needs From His Wife (Beyond Words)
