God made marriage as an integral part of His plan to prosper His world and bless all mankind. His wish was to visualize the relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church.
But also, to meet men’s and women’s wish for intimacy, and ultimately to populate the earth with people who fully reflect His image. Since marriage is essential to God’s mission of redeeming the world, Satan made its destruction the ultimate priority.
His plan is to undermine the importance of marriage and minimize the effect divorce might have on the family, as well as to seduce people to embrace a different, alternate lifestyle.
But since God loves us, He has provided very clear instructions on how married couples can experience oneness and fulfill His vision for their union.
Through His empowering Spirit and gospel of grace, He has provided the necessary means to love and serve each other, as well as endless forgiveness and healing that are needed in hardship. Through His Church, He has provided a community that can give counsel and support in restoring them.
Biblical grounds for divorce
God’s wish and design are for marriage to fully flourish for a lifetime. However, in a fallen society, there might be cases when someone will break their vows and desert their mate. The Lord addresses these circumstances in His Word, offering two clear exceptions to His command to believers, not to divorce.
The first biblical ground for divorce is simply adultery
When Jesus was asked if “it is lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason,” Jesus reiterated the idea that one man and one woman should be in a personal, purposeful, and permanent relationship. “For this exact reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. They are no longer two, but one flesh.
What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Then Jesus states very clearly the exception, which is: “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery.”
The second biblical ground for divorce is desertion by an unbelieving mate
The Apostle Paul explained, “if the unbelieving one (mate) leaves, let him leave; the brother or sister is not under bondage in this case, but God has called us to peace.” If a believer is married to an unbeliever and the unbelieving mate wishes to end the relationship, the believer isn’t required (“under bondage”) to keep the marriage.
It is also important to note that desertion generally entails the physical separation of a spouse by moving out of the marital home. However, it can also include other forms of desertion of the marriage, such as persistent and unrepentant abuse and addiction.
In such cases, an offended mate has a specific, biblical right to divorce their husband or wife. At the same time, they should try and seek God’s guidance and the wisdom of the elders and Christian counselor in taking such steps, cultivating a heart of forgiveness as well as an openness to relational reconciliation for the benefit of their family. It’s also important to keep the door open to God’s purposes in the near future.
However, the aggrieved spouse could realize that the union is irreparably broken, then pursue divorce. In such an instance, the Elders of the Fellowship will prove to be supportive of the aggrieved spouse’s decision, and try to minister without any reservation.
If God gives the sign of confirmation of such a decision, the church will do everything in its power to support them and their family.
Biblical grounds for remarriage
Whether a Christian who divorced on biblical grounds is free to remarry is also a question that leads us back to the Scripture. Their spiritual status hasn’t changed in any way, especially not in the eyes of the Lord or the church.
Jesus grants permission for someone to remarry when adultery took place. “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery.”
Here, the phrase “and marries another” naturally points to the issue of remarriage. Jesus also states that divorcing a mate on the grounds of immorality frees the offended mate to remarry, without committing adultery.
Paul also upholds the idea of permanency in a marriage, whether we’re talking about a believer or an unbeliever. However, it gives permission for a believer to separate if deserted by an unbeliever. As Paul stated, “Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him; the brother or sister isn’t under bondage (meaning no longer bound) in this case, but God has called us to peace.”
According to Paul, since desertion breaks the marital bond, the abandoned believer isn’t obliged to remain in the marriage. An implication of the marriage bonds being severed is that reconciliation is possible, but we need to acknowledge that remarriage isn’t specifically addressed by Paul here.
So, based on all this, remarriage after a biblical divorce for adultery seems quite permitted by Christ. Moreover, remarriage following a biblical divorce for abandonment by a non-believing spouse is also allowed as an implication of the teaching of Paul.
The elders often admit that among orthodox evangelical churches there are often many conflicting interpretations of scripture. Most of them involve the possibility of remarriage in the case of biblical divorces. Considering all this, we don’t think any particular interpretation is binding upon the consciences of our own members.
At the same time, the elders also call every single member contemplating remarriage to patiently navigate and deal with the idea of marrying someone else through prayer and study of the scriptures, seeking God’s wisdom and direction and the counsel of the elders, as well as the pastors.
The Lord could affirm a life of singleness in His service, which He commends as beneficial. Some individuals could feel empowered to enjoy, or He might provide the peace that remarriage can bring, if the situation allows.
Last but not least, if an offended mate decides to, in consultation with and the concurrence of the experienced ones, decide upon either singleness or biblical remarriage. This can also include our pastors officiating at weddings of those pursuing a remarriage following a Biblical divorce.
However, based on the clear teachings of Jesus, it is in our conviction that remarriage isn’t allowed in the case of an unbiblical divorce because of the continuation of the bonds of marriage in the eyes of the Lord.
However, even if remarriage after an unbiblical divorce is a sin, it is not a particular category of sin that is beyond God’s merciful grace. Those who are in an unbiblical marriage shouldn’t compound their error by divorcing their spouse, but should instead confess and repent of their sin and bear fruit in their lives in keeping with such repentance.
Establishing the spiritual state of a mate
It is the elders’ duty to prayerfully discern and determine the spiritual state of the two parties. The Apostle Paul writes that the church leadership is also responsible for judging the very spiritual nature of those in the church. For some causes, remove any “so-called brother”, who might claim they know Christ but don’t actually demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit.
If you found this article interesting, we also recommend checking: 6 Biblical Signs That God Is Testing Your Faith
