If I could go back in time when my children were little, I would do many things very differently. Naturally, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Even if my boys are still little, there are still many things that I wish I’d done differently.
First, I wish I had more patience with them, spent more time with them, and less time on the phone or on my computer. I also wish I didn’t freak out as much and yell at them or stress about how many vitamins they should eat.
All in all, we all carry a bit of guilt, since our one and only wish is to be better parents. We truly love our little ones and want the best for them. Being a good parent doesn’t mean being perfect, and that’s why following Christian teachings can help us accept ourselves and our parenthood journey.
Give up on your own guilt
Whatever might have happened before needs to stay in the past. Of course, accountability is much needed when it comes to parenting; otherwise, how could you improve yourself? But learning from our mistakes shouldn’t stop us from being present now.
So if you feel like you’ve had your fair share of mistakes while learning how to be a parent, try to see the past as an integral part of your growth. Just like our babies have grown, we also have grown as parents.
We learn alongside them. Just like they stumble and fall, sometimes we also stumble and make mistakes, but these mistakes help us grow and become better versions of ourselves. We will never be perfect, and that’s okay.
Pray for wisdom
The Bible taught us that when we have a need, we need to ask, “Ask and it will be offered to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will open to you.” In the light of such profound words, praying for wisdom is a must on our journey of becoming better parents.
Every child is different, and so are their parents, so what works for one might not work for the other. The advice that comes from family and friends is much appreciated, but it still doesn’t compare with the wisdom that comes from God.
He sees each and every one of us, knowing very well what’s in our hearts. That’s why we need to have wisdom to deal with every person and every area of our lives.
Teach your kids to strengthen their relationship with their Lord
Encouraging a relationship with the Lord is by far one of the most important things you can do for your children. Not only knowing about Him, but also knowing Him personally. So take your time and teach them the word of God, how to pray for themselves and for others.
Every chance you get, talk to them, help them see Him as their loving Father. Not only will it help them live a better life, but it will also show them how rewarding it can be.
Put love at the forefront
If we allow ourselves to let love become the driving force behind us, we witness wonderful things happening. We love our babies, but sometimes, life also happens, and our lives can become dull. Sometimes we get so busy that we just go through the motions, trying to get by another day.
That’s why it’s important to make room for love every day. Discipline your little ones with love, talk to your children with love, feed them with love, and forgive them with love. This way, your kids will always know that no matter what they have done, your love will be greater than any issue.
It’s true that saying “I love you” goes a long way, but actions often speak louder than words. It is not what you say but what you do that truly shows your children how to love.
Be present
Well, nothing really says “I love you” better than sitting around, listening to what your children have to say. Spending proper quality time with your kids is exactly what good parenting is all about. When you’re home, nothing is more important than your spouse and your kids.
One of the saddest realities of today is when family members have nothing to say to each other, and would rather be on their phones and tablets. They are far more interested in what people have to say on social media instead of their families.
All in all, we should all work harder to be present. Put our phones aside and be present with one another. Being together on the phone is not really being together. Declare a moratorium on all electronics during dinner, for instance.
Sit at the table as a united family, talk about each other’s day. And what matters the most is to listen to what the other one has to say. Teach your kids how important what they have to say is to you, and spend meaningful time with them.
Establish rules
There are a few rules you have to teach your kids, especially around the house. Having rules helps them build discipline and develop self-control. For instance, in our house, no food is allowed upstairs. My children have known about this rule for a long time now, so they never ask to bring food upstairs, and also make sure their friends follow the same rule when they come by.
Be understanding
The world is a completely different place now than it was when we were younger. My husband and do our best to raise our children the same way we were raised, but sometimes I realise that times have changed.
There are certain things that should never change, whether it’s good manners, values, or integrity. However, we should still try to be understanding of this world. For instance, like it or not, technology is now a huge part of their life, and it will probably be so for the rest of their lives. But this doesn’t mean that they can be on their phone 24/7.
Kisses and hugs
In all honesty, they are never too old to be hugged or kissed. You have to make sure you tell your little ones how much you love them, as often as possible. Sooner than you’d think, they will move away to another city, or even another state, and you won’t see them as often, hug them, or kiss them whenever you want. Do it while you’re still living under the same roof.
Always try to speak life into them
We should try to be as careful as we can with the words that come out of our mouths. Words are known to hold power, and speaking life and blessing into your child’s life will greatly benefit them long term. You can easily break a child’s spirit with what you say.
Never call your kids names such as idiot or stupid, or worse, curse at them. Your main job as a parent is to build them up and not put them down. Some of the simplest words, like dumb or lazy, might seem harmless, but they’ll weigh more than we can imagine in a child’s heart.
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