Find out how to solve a conflict in the way of God!
From time to time, it is inevitable to not get caught up in a conflict. This just happens, but it’s important how you deal with the conflict. You can react in many ways, but you should try to act according to God’s will.
It is a good idea to learn how to diffuse conflict, and it can help you all your life. This is a skill that every one of us can learn, and it also helps you become a better person.
When you say that you love God, this implies that you also love the ones that are close to you or any other human, and this means you should know how to solve a conflict and forgive.
Read on and learn what to do next time you find yourself in the middle of an argument. Learn how to do it God’s way.
1. Consider the other perspective
Ok, so you are having an argument with someone. How do you solve a conflict? What is the first thing you do?
When you are mad or angry at someone, your first reaction is to think about yourself and the fact that you are right and they are wrong. But is this the best approach? Well, it isn’t, and there are better ways to handle this.
The first thing you can do is try to listen to the perspective of the other person. The same as you, they have something to say, and they want to be heard and understood.
Instead of trying to make others notice your needs, you can try to notice theirs first. When you start doing this, you might be surprised by how people will react. Most of them will be grateful that somebody finally listens to them.
When we struggle so much to make others hear us first, we do this because we are afraid that our needs won’t be met.
2. Confess your part
This might be one of the hardest steps when you try to solve a conflict and accept that you’ve also been wrong. Generally, when an argument takes place, both parties are wrong in one way or another. After all, it takes two to tango.
And ok, maybe you are to blame for only 5% and the other person is to blame for the rest of 95%, but confessing that 5% can change everything and will help when you try to solve a conflict.
Remember that we all have blind spots, and in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus himself told us that before we move on, we should take care of those blind spots.
Has your relationship become stuck after a conflict? This happens pretty often when both parties refuse to confess their fault and just wait for one another’s apologies. Avodit this, go there, and say sorry. It is easier than you expect it to be.
3. Reconciliation, not resolution
This is a big difference between these terms, and when you try to solve a conflict, you should be aware of this. Resolution means that there is no longer a conflict between you and the other party, but this doesn’t mean you are still on good terms. On the other hand, reconciliation means you have now reestablished the relationship and get along well.
And if you think about it, this is what matters most: for the conflict to be solved, and after all of this, you should still remain friends. It is hard to reach a complete resolution because, most of the time, you will never agree on everything. And this is ok; you should not agree with all of it. You have to understand what the other has to say and see how both of you make a compromise.
There is one thing we all need to understand, and that is that it is possible for disagreement to exist without you being disagreeable. This is the key, and you should do your best to become the peacemaker God wants you to be.
4. Take initiative
When conflict arises, you should be ready for it and act according to God’s will. This means that you should be there; don’t deny the conflict, and don’t wait for the other person to make the first move.
When you want to solve a conflict, things can get messy, and you might be confused and don’t know what to do. But this is something that you will learn over time. It is okay to not be good at it from the beginning. What is important is to always be open to change.
Keep in mind that a conflict will never resolve by itself. You should take the initiative and do something about it. A solved convict is not an accident, and things should happen intentionally.
When you have this in mind and you truly want to solve a conflict, God will give you all the courage you will need when you intend to take that first step. You just have to take the initiative and try to bring peace to your relationship.
5. Speak the truth in an appropriate way
Yes, telling the truth is important, but it is not enough. You can’t just tell the truth. You should be careful when you do it because the truth can sometimes hurt another person. You need to tell the truth tactfully.
As Paul says to us, “Speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). This is the key. It is absolutely necessary to tell the truth, but do it in a way that will not hurt the other person. Avoid being on the wrong side of the conflict.
Find the best way to deliver this information to the person you had an argument with. Take a moment and see what works for them. Show them that you love them, and they will be more receptive to hearing your truth.
6. Find out what is hurting them
Have you heard the following phrase before: “Hurt people hurt people”? This is a common phrase, and its meaning applies many times. When someone has been hurt in the past, they might be hurting you now because their wounds have not healed yet.
This is why you should always remember that when someone is mean to you, there can be many causes behind closed doors. Sure, it can be your fault, but it can also be someone else’s fault at the same time.
Take a moment and hear what they are saying. Let them talk. Let them tell you what is upsetting them so much. This can be their chance to let it all out and start the healing process.
Stay there, and listen to their doubts and fears. Finding out more about this can also help you solve a conflict. You may be able to see why they are acting in a specific way, among many other things and triggers.
If you are eager to find out more about this topic this book might come in handy: Resolve Conflict God’s Way: The Skills You Need To Make Peace
You should also read: 7 Simple But Meaningful Things Christians Should Do Daily
