What does the Bible advise as far as parenting goes?
I think none of us can forget the first moment we held our first child in our arms. I myself was overwhelmed with pride, excitement, and anxiety. I soon realized there was no turning back: I was officially a parent.
Parents, especially if it’s their first time – often have these feelings of anticipation and fear. They might ask themselves if they are even ready. They worry that something can happen and they don’t know what to do, or how to behave.
They are scared that they will make way too many mistakes, so much so that their kids will end up messed up beyond repair. I can definitely say I was like that. So what do you do in times like these?
You start looking for resources to help you. You look to your own parents for wisdom. You ask your siblings and friends who have their own children. In some cases, you turn to the Bible, which is filled with plenty of parenting advice.
Parents in the Bible
Naturally, the Bible wasn’t mainly written as a how-to guide for raising children. However, it has a lot to say on the subject. Through all these proverbs and stories, the Bible shows much about what it means to parent in a godly fashion.
Plenty of things are demonstrated through narrative examples of parents raising their offspring in good and bad ways. Of course, many jumped on to say that the bad examples displayed imply that anything the Bible has to say about parenting is bad.
However, as far as I can tell, all the illustrations of bad parenting in there are only meant to show us what not to do, since most bad examples are intended to do. One of the most well-known and controversial Bible stories about parents and children is the story of Abraham and Isaac.
Abraham waited one hundred years for Isaac to come along. He loved Isaac and valued him above anything else. He knew Isaac’s birth was a gift from God. However, when God told Abraham to take Isaac up a mountain and sacrifice him as an offering, we can only imagine Abraham responding, “You want me to do what?”
However, Abraham had faith in God’s goodness and provision, setting out on the trip with his son. Abraham’s faith was well-founded. God stopped Abraham from going through with the sacrifice of his son.
It’s very important to admit that the main point of this story is less about the guidelines of parenting and more about testing Abraham’s faith. Never does the Bible imply hurting children.
The fact Isaac was never actually harmed, plus the many places where the Bible condemns child sacrifice, strengthens this point. However, the Bible doesn’t just come with examples of parenting through stories.
It also gives direct parenting advice. In this advice, we generally find the ideal standard of parenting, according to God’s will. Time and time again, the Bible invites parents to do three important things: to treasure their children, teach and correct them, and model a proper way of living.
Treasure your children
In Psalm 127:3, it says: “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” Children are, most importantly, a reward and a blessing. It’s quite easy to see our children as blessings, especially when they’re little.
However, the Bible says that as they grow older (and beyond their adorable phase), we still treasure them, even if it’s not easy. Treasuring our children also means we must not parent with cruelty, overcorrection, and unduly harsh discipline.
This treatment can cause our children to be bitter and resentful. Colossians 3:21 makes an invitation to reconsider our patterns in this regard: “Parents, don’t embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
As parents, it is our job to make sure our children feel supported and loved. In my family life, there have obviously been many ups and downs. We have made plenty of mistakes.
However, it never fails: whenever we’ve had a rough day of parenting, we remember a tender or sweet story about the child in question. Every time we left with smiles and a feeling of thanksgiving for having an amazing child. As the Bible states, our children are a blessing. We must treasure them at all times and all ages.
Teach and correct your children
But this isn’t to say that the Bible doesn’t urge all parents to teach and correct their children. After a short summary of God’s law given to the Israelites, Deuteronomy 6:7 explained: “Impress (God’s commandments) on your children.
Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down, and when you get up.” We are here to share knowledge on what a godly, righteous living is supposed to be like.
This should always be the foundation of our teachings to them. Proverbs 22:6 pointed to the importance of this: “Start children off on the way they ought to go, even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
What we should strive for is to instill in our children a sense of righteous living, which they will carry with them throughout adulthood.
To efficiently do this, parents are often encouraged to correct their children through careful, gentle discipline. Scripture shows us that God disciplines his believers out of love: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves.”
Model the right life for your children
Ultimately, the Bible urges all parents to model for their kids everything they teach them. In other words, as the old adage goes, we need to practice what we preach. The book of Titus explains what Christians must do: “In everything, set an example by doing what is good.
In your teachings, show integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech.” If we can’t act the way we want our children to, our words will be worthless. Children generally become what they see, so we need to show them what we want them to become.
If you want your kid to live a life according to some standards, you yourself need to do it. I personally witnessed this first-hand in my family. My father modeled the best behavior in me, as far as treating my stepmother goes.
But he also had a short temper, which I also inherited. As a parent, now I get to witness what my children have picked up from me. My oldest son visited his aunt last summer on his own, and she told us how much of a gentleman he was. I was very proud.
Grace and forgiveness
Even if God has given us wisdom about parenting, we sometimes fail to live it out. Even if we have learned a thing or two by now, we still get anxious. Sometimes we regret a decision we made in the heat of the moment. No one is perfect. Thankfully, we have something we can always be reminded of, and that is God’s grace.
If you found this article insightful, we also recommend checking: 6 Biblical Signs That God Is Testing Your Faith
