When it comes to relationships, it seems like everyone around you might have something to say. Impressions and opinions might come from anywhere, from your loved ones to those how-to books.
Wherever they might come from, everyone has a different formula on the idea of pursuing someone or engaging in a relationship. As far as we’re concerned, relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives, winning a top priority within our personal desires.
But, at the same time, they’re delicate, difficult, and complicated, at least at times. This leads us to wonder, is there a proper way to pursue a relationship? If we follow God in the whole absolute truth, is there a way to pursue a relationship following His will? How do we do that?
Prayer and obedience
Have you ever heard the phrase “Time is key”? When it comes to relationships, it applies on more than one level. In order to properly pursue someone in a way that honors God and the person you are interested in at the same time, you need to rely on God through prayer and obedience to what He asks you to do.
God is everywhere, and He can see every facet and aspect of things, and He knows those aspects of life that we will never do. This is why it’s so important to follow Godly pursuit, obeying Him, instead of the desires of our flesh.
Kindness and respect
Another important thing to remember is that kindness and respect must be evident for God and for each other. This is mandatory if you want to have healthy boundaries and communication in your relationship, whether it’s romantic or not because kindness and respect are always the best way to honor someone.
How do you do that? First of all, you need to place your own need for control to the side and always listen to what the other person has to say. This revelation only comes from good communication with the other party, or it can definitely come from asking God to help you understand other perspectives.
And remember that this applies to the Godly pursuit as well, because we are required to understand more than meets the eye.
Encouragement in God
Whether you are currently dating or just getting to know each other, pursuing each other in a Godly fashion will offer encouragement towards God. For this, we need to go back to Ecclesiastes 4:9, which lights some truths in our minds: “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”
We can also help and support each other in a walk with Christ. Think of it like this: we are an equilateral triangle, with God at the top, and the husband and wife at the bottom corners. The lesson in this is simple: the closer the spouses will grow towards God, the closer they will ultimately grow towards each other.
Respect for family and friends
When you date someone, you basically welcome them and their loved ones who are dear to them into your life. Whether it’s family or friends, their loved ones are important to them, so it’s natural for you to seek to know them and embrace them as your own.
And it’s really simple to do so, just by participating in a beloved pastime such as Sunday afternoon football games or going hiking together as a group. Putting in the effort will show them how valuable they are to you, and it will enhance your relationships more in sharing the wholeness of life, not just some parts of it.
By offering respect to those they care about, you will show how much you love and appreciate them.
Authenticity
Having a genuinely good heart and soul means that at some point, you will let yourself be vulnerable in front of the other person. This can take place if you are willing to bear and confess your own flaws, but also your shortcomings.
The most important thing is to choose not to remain in them, and share your process of becoming a better person, by letting the Lord guide you throughout the whole process of redemption and healing.
Part of loving each other is to share our authentic and true selves, not just a plastic version that is nothing but superficial. True intimacy will always come from opening up. If you’re together in communion with the Lord, it will be nothing but a testimony of His work upon your lives.
Invite God in
If you want to pursue someone through Christ, you need to invite the Lord into every factor of your relationship. This includes everything: deciding if that person is right for you, considering to seek a relationship with someone, figuring out when is the right time to ask them out is, or how to navigate into the new relationship.
But throughout all these, God needs to be the backbone, as He takes great delight and joy when we gladly invite Him into our lives. He will always care the most about our relationships.
And it’s evident that He wishes from the bottom of his heart for His children to be together, otherwise, why did the Almighty God conclude that Adam shouldn’t be alone in the Garden of Eden?
Pray for each other
Did you know that if you pray for a person, you become spiritually attached to him/her? By praying for them, not only will God take care of them, but He will also take care of your relationship. Praying will strengthen your bond and the love you have for one another.
If you keep on blessing your partner in the spirit, you will contribute to the well-being of that person in the physical realm. By making this a habit between you and your loved one, you make sure you keep God at the center of your relationship and that you will enrich it with love and trust.
Church time before going out
On Sundays, before you go on a date, try to set a rule that you will go to church together first. If you don’t have a lot of time on your hands and you might have to choose between your God-time and “bae”-time, you should suggest to your significant other to go together to the church.
God will always honor those who are constantly honoring Him, so He will see you putting Him first before any other relationship, and He will deeply appreciate it and help you with anything that might be going on in your life. And rest assured, God will bless you with more time for you and your significant other!
Ask God to help you
A healthy and stable relationship will never require you to change your personality, but it will motivate you to change any bad attitudes. Besides cheating, there are many broken relationships out there that are at fault of pride, which is by far one of the biggest of our enemies.
One of the exes or even both can’t seem to find the inner strength and admit the mistakes they’ve made and apologize first for them. Even so, remember that only God can help us, especially in this situation. We should ask for His help to change for the better by applying what we learned from the Bible in our own life.
Remember that your partner is fearfully and wonderfully made by God
At some point, you might be tempted to compare your partner with someone who might seem to be better, or you wish they were someone else. If this ever happens, please remind yourself that the same God who created you uniquely is the same God who created your spouse as well.
Remember to appreciate your partner as who they are because they’re just as special as you are. And don’t forget how important communication is in any kind of relationship. If you ever struggle to find that lost romance between the two of you, don’t hesitate to ask God for help!
Listen to the word of spiritually mature individuals
Whenever you feel like your relationship is on the rocks, don’t hesitate to ask people who are God-fearing. You can rest assured that they will pray for you to get you through this, and you will also get the wisdom you need on how to maturely handle any situation.
And remember that those who try to solve their problems by drinking alcohol will never be of any help to you.
